As I sit here on a Saturday morning, with my laptop in bed, contemplating the fact that there are only 80 days left until the end of the year, I can’t help but think where has the time gone. Every year this happens and it's the same feeling, an odd mix of panic, reflection, and the dreaded thought of what's next? Looking back I'm asking myself questions: Is 2024 another wasted year? Did I achieve what I set out to do? Did I do enough?
Reflecting On The Past
Everytime I think about the past of I acheived, my mind goes blank. I'm not sure if your mind does this too, but for a split second, my brain searches rapidly through my timeline of 2024, which seems to be a blackhole until a colourful image pops up. Yes most of the time, I can only think of one thing I've done until I deeply think about that one thing which leads me to thinking of a few other things that I've done in the year.
It's funny how all our brains work differently. For me the main thing that has been completely different than all the other years was getting therapy or at least a therapist that worked for me. When I tried therapy twice before in the past it never seemed to work. There are many factors why this time has worked for me. More confidence within myself to be open to accept change. Knowing my past traumas are currently still affecting the way I live. Giving myself time to work out the person I am and to become a better version of me.
Having The Confidence To Strive To Be Better
As humans, it's in our nature to be better, to strive to be our best, to be perfect. But sometimes when we are doing our best, it still doesn't feel like enough, it doesn't seem like we are progressing. I always thought of progressing to be up and down. We progress or we don't. But throughout this year of therapy, maybe there is a grey point which mixes the white and the black and this is what's needed to keep our lives balanced. Of course there will always be a choice ending with one option and another, like do you want to eat pizza tonight? Your brain will choose either yes or no. Or if someone asked you are you free tomorrow? you would naturally answer yes or no.
This is where I would thrive, in the white or the black. Yes, I'm able to do it. No, I will do it now. Yes I can meet you today. No, can we meet next week. Yes No Yes No Yes No. All of choices up till therapy had been one or another. And this response naturally forces me to comply with the other person's request, the expectation that I must do it or I shouldn't do it. If someone asked me how are you feeling? This is where I would struggle without saying yes or no. Do you catch yourself going 'yeah I'm good'? This is my autopilot response too.
What I Know Now After Therapy
The biggest eye-opener for me throughout this one year of my own personal growth is, knowing that there is no one way of defining what is certain words mean, especially when it comes to feelings. Happiness can't define with a yes or no answer. Success, Achievement, Confidence, even though they are not neccesarily an emotion, all these words aren't a black or white definition and it's not something we can always have 100% of the time. It comes and goes and the meaning will be different for everyone. And from this I understand the cliche saying of 'Life is not a sprint, it's a marathon'. Because how everyone sees their journey differently, it doesn't mean it's wrong. We all have different perspectives and to answer the question at the beginning 'Is 2024 another wasted year? Did I achieve what I set out to do? Did I do enough?' Maybe it's time to ask the questions in a different way, to redefine how I'm measuring the success and what success actually means to me.
And going back to what I thought progress was to begin with, maybe a different way of looking at the year is 'What lessons have I learnt in 2024 that will shape my future and what challenges am I prepared to face?" Being more open allows myself to create that inner confidence of actually I did learn a lot of things, so that means I did progress and I can be proud of that. Because it's in the learning that we can evolve and be the best person we can be. In the learning we can discover new strengths that we didn't know we had. In the learning we can help and support others.
My New Learning
Rather than waiting until 1st January 2025 to set new goals, I have 80 days to invest in my growth on a personal level and as what I do as a Voice and Communications Coach. I want to document this process and to continue to push myself out of my comfort zone, not only to inspire others but to also hold myself accountable. To grow my confidence I need to continue to learn and what a better way to challenge myself for the next 80 days to write a blog everyday. Each blog will be filled with my personal stories of finding my own voice, and what I know as a Voice and Communications Coach to help inspire others to use their voice to create an impact.
The countdown shouldn’t signal an end of the year with disappointment, it should be filled with celebration of every step taken. As I challenge myself to write a blog for the next 80 days, what are you going to do to finish 2024 as strong as you can?
If you're feeling lost or struggling with your confidence you can book a call with me, so you can create the life that you desire.
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