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Writer's pictureEmily

Say What You Mean And Mean What You Say

Effective communication is one of the most valuable skills you can have, whether you’re navigating professional relationships, social interactions, or even personal conversations. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Say what you mean and mean what you say,” but how many of us truly embody it? Being clear and authentic in your communication can help you build stronger connections, gain respect, and avoid misunderstandings.



As a Voice and Communication Coach, I’ve seen first-hand how the way we speak can shape the way we’re perceived. Let’s dive into why clarity in communication matters, and how you can ensure that your words truly reflect your intentions.


Why Saying What You Mean Matters

How often have you found yourself in a conversation where the message was unclear or the intention wasn’t fully understood? It’s easy for words to be misinterpreted, especially if we don’t articulate our thoughts clearly.


Here’s why it’s so important to express yourself accurately:

1. Prevents Misunderstandings

When you don’t say what you mean, others may fill in the gaps with their own assumptions. A simple comment like “yeah” can come across as uncertain or wishy-washy. Elaborate, a clearer version might be, “yes, I think that...” Without clear communication, you risk being misunderstood, which can lead to confusion, mistakes, or even conflict. Saying what you mean ensures everyone is on the same page and makes it easier to work together toward a common goal.


2. Builds Trust and Credibility

When you speak with clarity and purpose, people take you more seriously. They can trust that you’ll express your thoughts accurately, and they’re less likely to second-guess your intentions. For example, leaders who communicate directly and confidently inspire trust among their teams. If you say one thing and your actions suggest something different, it sends mixed signals. This inconsistency can cause others to question your integrity. When you mean what you say, you demonstrate that your words align with your actions, which gives you more authenticity and trust.


3. Improves Decision Making

Clear communication speeds up decision-making. When you’re direct and to the point, there’s less room for confusion. People can take the information they’ve received and make decisions based on it. For instance, when giving feedback, being specific about what went well and what needs improvement helps the person receiving the feedback understand exactly what to focus on.


Why You Need to Mean What You Say

It’s not just about what you say, it’s also about the sincerity behind your words. If you’re not fully committed to your message, it can come across as confusing.


Here's why meaning what you say is just as important as saying it clearly:

1. Enhances Your Impact

When you speak from a place of conviction, people are more likely to listen and be influenced by your words. Whether you’re giving a presentation or having a one-on-one conversation, the sincerity behind your message can make a huge impact. Think of the difference between someone who says, “I think we should try this idea, but I’m not sure” and someone who says, “I’m confident that we are on the right path because…” The latter has a stronger effect because the speaker truly believes in their words. People are drawn to confidence and sincerity because it shows that you stand behind your message.


2. Encourages Accountability

When you say something and truly mean it, you are holding yourself accountable to your words. If you promise to take action or follow through with a task, you’re more likely to do it when you’ve expressed genuine commitment. This sets the standard for others to hold you accountable as well, creating a culture of integrity and reliability.


3. Demonstrates Emotional Intelligence

Saying what you mean and meaning what you say requires a level of emotional awareness and maturity. It involves knowing yourself, understanding your feelings, and expressing them appropriately. When you mean what you say, you take responsibility for your emotions and how they influence your words. This level of self-awareness enhances your communication, making it more genuine and empathetic.


How to Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

If you’re ready to improve your communication skills and ensure that your words truly reflect your intentions, here are some tips to get started:


1. Be Clear and Specific

Avoid vague or ambiguous language. Be as clear and specific as possible about what you want to convey. For example, instead of saying, “I’m not sure about this project,” try, “I have concerns about this project because I believe we may be overlooking X, Y, and Z.” Specificity makes your point stronger and more actionable.


2. Be Honest and Authentic

Don’t say things you don’t truly believe or aren’t committed to. Authenticity is key to gaining trust and respect. If you don’t agree with something, say so in a respectful and constructive manner. If you can’t commit to a deadline or task, be honest about it and offer an alternative.


3. Pay Attention To The Words

Communication is about words, it’s also about how you say them. Your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice all play a role in conveying your message. If you’re speaking with conviction, your words should reflect that confidence. If you are communicating via text message or social media platforms, then say exactly how you would say the words out loud if they were in person, especially when the duration of reply is slow. The other person is likely to have forgotten what you meant, in the tone of voice they think you would have said it when they read your message the second time round. Or even better, use audio messaging instead.


The Power of Saying What You Mean and Meaning What You Say

By committing to clear, authentic communication, you can build stronger relationships, gain respect, and avoid unnecessary misunderstandings. Whether in business, relationships, or daily conversations, saying what you mean and meaning what you say can make all the difference in how others perceive you and how successful your communication becomes.


If you’re looking to improve your communication skills, check out my website for more resources, tips, and guidance on how to speak with clarity and confidence. Let’s work together to help you express yourself more effectively and authentically!



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