After making the decision to change my life, my biggest question was how. How do I do it? I couldn't change my thinking over night. Stripping back all the layers to then rebuild myself took time. I had this ginormous mountain to climb. There was always a question of doubt, even if I know what I am doing, will I even be able to achieve my goal?
When we set ourselves, most of us know what we are going to do, whether it's losing weight or learning a language or facing our fears. But the likelyhood of how you do it will determine if you will succeed and if your method is efficient. The amount of times we have heard stories of people's failing attempts to try and hit their goals is all down to the specifics of the how.
In order to be able to achieve my goal, being authentic and confident within myself, the first thing I did was look back into my past and thought of one thing that I regret. That one regret was not being able to go to drama school because people said I was not good at acting or acting provides no future career path, it's just a hobby. Having listened to all this nonsense, I wanted to prove them wrong. I applied for a Masters in Acting at drama school. I thought if I am not accepted then maybe it was time to give acting up.
I prepared for my audition. I had been given specific guidelines, to act two monologues and a sing a 2 minute song. During the audition, the song terrified me, I was tone-deaf, couldn't hold a tune, but I got through it. Drama schools were competitive even at Masters level because more people specialise in them. The audition was over, the week long wait had ended, I received an email.
I GOT IN! I got into the Royal Birmingham Conservatoire! I couldn't believe my eyes! Everything had been riding on this very moment. This was the break I needed to get my confidence back on track! Then I had a phone call, they told me the course was cancelled due to the lack of applicants for the course. I was absolutely devasted. Typical, anything that goes right always ends up being wrong. What was the point of even trying. The institution offered me two alternatives, 1. that I deferred my year or 2. choose the Professional Voice Practice course.
Long negotiations with myself soon followed, if I deferred then I would be studying my dream course but what would I do in that spare year. If I took the Professional Voice Practice course, would I still be an actor, how different were the two courses. I had all these questions circling around in my head. The biggest question was which path do I take? How do I know which one is the correct path?
In the end, I opted for number 2. It was still at the prestige drama school I wanted to go to and it was an opportunity for me to learn more about myself rather than pretending to someone else.
And holy moly did this 12 month course change my entire life. This was the beginning of something.
Life Lesson Number 2: If you don't choose a path, you will forever be in the same place. You will never know if it's the correct one but at least your moving forward. Book a discovery call with me so I can help you in your life.
To be continued... Read Part 3 here.